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Rants and Deep Talks: My Biggest Fear

I have been asked a lot  of times in my life; What is my biggest fear? I don't really knew what it was, I am not afraid things people are normally afraid of. I am not afraid of heights, some insect, the dark or ghosts. I always thought I was the most afraid of being left alone in the world, being lonely, but I have recently realised, everyone is afraid of this. No one wants to be left alone, not even Aromantic people. So I re-evaluated my definition of fear, fear is a reaction you have to something you never want to encounter because you have not yet learnt to fight it or as many people might say, overcome it. So what is the one thing I never want to encounter, the one thing that leaves me numb, angry, distorted, vulnerable, something I seem to always be powerless against, and the answer is- Conflict.
My biggest fear in life is Conflict. Now some might say, "Oh, you just don't know how to fight.", well then why do I feel everything that fear is when someone I know fights, whether it be my friends or my family, why do I always avoid conflict when its in front of me, its because I am scared and sadly i have not yet learnt how to overcome it, except sometimes when I try to talk to the people who the conflict is in between, but that's mostly me helping them and not me resolving my fear.
I don't think this fear of mine is ever going to go away, because it's not fear of something like spiders, you can't just hold conflict, realise they are harmless and move on. I need to figure out a way of overcoming my fear and I hope I will do it soon, after I clear off all the other things I need to do. Anyhoo, bye.






Glossary
Aromantic: Someone who doesn't feel romantic attraction and doesn't feel the need for a romantic relationship.

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