Ashish was on his toilet, his pants down as he tried to beat his lowest time in minesweeper. Ashish was a simple man when it came to mobile games, he didn’t like playing power needy games like PUBG or even Asphalt, the most “extravagant” game on his phone was Uno Friends.
Ashish was trying to figure out what box to click next, it was down to two of them, he took a chance as time was running out and sadly clicked wrong. As soon as the last mine went off, he shouted ,”Motherf*cker, bloody assh*le”
He was a simple man when it came to mobile games, not cusswords.. He switched off his phone and pulled up his pants. He wasn’t actually using the toilet, he just liked playing games in the bathroom, it was the quietest there.
He came out to see his brother listening to music on his bed, as soon as his brother saw him, he removed his headphones.
“That is the 5th time you have gone to the bathroom within the past 3 hours.”
“I took 4 servings of eggs during breakfast today.”
“You skipped breakfast.”
“Must have been yesterday’s eggs.”
“Were you,you know?”Ashish picked up his watch from the bed as his brother made a profane hand gesture.
“No Ishu, I wasn’t jerking off.”
“You sure? You look sweaty” Ishu shrugged
“That’s just my morning glow”
As he wore his backpack, Ishu asked, “Where are you going?”
“To jerk off.” Ashish replied as he left out the bedroom door.
He got out of his room, and walked towards the front door, he knew his mom and dad were still sleeping as it was a Saturday, but he had a field trip today and he was already running late, so he left without telling them, as he typed a message to his dad saying,”I left for the field trip, see you at 8pm”
Just to clarify, no Ashish wasn’t going on the field trip to jerk off, sex education in schools is not that far along yet. Maybe after they allow us to have hairstyles and date, maybe then.
He was going to the museum, specifically the National Museum of Natural History.
Ashish took a look at his watch, it was 11:30 am, the buses were supposed to leave at 12 noon, thankfully his school was a 5 minute walk away.
Due to the fact that not everyone likes going to museums (I know right, shocker!!), the school decided to put up a notice, if someone wanted to go, tell the homeroom teacher. He was one of the 32 kids who chose to go. I assure you he had a good reason.
By the time Ashish reached, the bus was standing right in front of the school with the teachers strolling around it.
He reached in time and saw his history teacher giving him a look.
“I told everyone, they needed to reach the school by 11:15, you are 20 minutes late.”
“I am sorry, I woke up late” He lied with ease.
Ashish boarded the bus with no second thought of the sin he had just committed.
Now before we go any further, all of us have had crushes in high school, be it sexual, romantic or platonic(yes,platonic crushes exist, remember that kid you so badly wanted to be friends with). Ashish also had a crush, a romantic and sexual crush. As he walked up he saw his crush, sitting on the bench seat, at the back of the class. They looked very nice even today, their slightly long hair, and their grey eyes, and their wispy beard. They looked amazing. Ashish’s crush wasn’t a woman with high testosterone levels, it was a guy. Yes this is a story about a gay kid. Why write a gay story and not a straight one, my dear scandalized reader? Ask Netflix, It's fun.
Ashish walked to the back of the bus while avoiding stares from kids, who were angry he was late.He went to the bench seat in the end and sat himself 4 seats left of Jamal, because you know…... nervousness.
The bus ride to the museum was rather uneventful. There were 32 teenagers and two teachers in a hot bus, you can imagine, but let me help you, the unintelligent reader.
It was loud and noisy. Some sat with their significant others, flirting horribly. Some sat in groups playing games not meant for their age.Then there was that group of girls who always seemed to be gossipping about you. Some of the guys were recounting their failed attempts at getting a girl, while they made fun of very stupid things and passed highly misogynistic,sexist and homophobic comments, Ashish was sad when he realised these men will also end up holding very powerful positions in the society and government. Maybe his mom was right, maybe the apocalypse was near. The rest of the bus ride was Ashish sliding into a dark place in his mind and had an existential crisis while he came to the realization of how truly insignificant his life was for the universe.
They reached their destination and Ashish’s dark thoughts went away at the sight of the museum. Which is the 1st time dark thoughts have gone away at the sight of a museum (man I am giving museums a hard time)
The museum was crowdless, with at max 20 other people there, not because it was a Saturday, but because it was a museum. Tough break.
The first 2 hours was the entire class, walking around with a guide, listening to her, while Ashish resisted the urge to grab Jamal’s hand or worse, his ass. Told you, it was a sexual crush and Ashish’s a teenager, what do you expect? Although don’t grope someone in public, do what Ashish does, resist the urge.
The next 2 hours after that, the kids were allowed to explore and revisit sections they liked, while the teachers drank coffee and ate donuts.
Now as I mentioned before, Ashish is a teenager, so obviously he followed Jamal and went to the sections Jamal went to.
In a perfect movie or story Ashish would follow him around looking at him, without Jamal noticing and the story would go on with Ashish and Jamal getting together later, but this story is written by another crazy teenager listening to a song named Naked with the lyrics”Naked. No, oh, oh, I can't take it.No, oh you'll never ever see me naked(Blippity blop blop)”, so weird shit is bound to happen, also Jamal isn’t stupid and noticed Ashish 10 minutes before I started describing why I am disappointed of myself.
Ashish stood 8 feet behind Jamal, while he pretended to look at an exhibit from some ancient Indian temple.
Ashish was thinking of spooning with Jamal, when Jamal turned and started staring at him. Ashish was surprised as Jamal’s ass was replaced by his crotch. He looked up to see Jamal staring at him with his grey eyes. This staring contest went on for another good 30 seconds, Jamal’s eyes like daggers and Ashish sweating from every crevice in his body and then Jamal finally broke the silence
“ I didn’t think this though, my eyes are watering, can we stop?”
“Yeah”, Ashish replied
“I knew you have been staring at me and my ass, for the past 20 minutes.”
“Well shit.”
Jamal laughed, he liked sarcastic humour.
Ashish also smiled, happy he made Jamal laugh.
Jamal had never seen this kid before and was kind of sad he hadn’t.
“What’s your name?”
“Ashish”
“Want to stop staring at me Ashish?”
“Yeah, fine.”Ashish replied embarrassed and disappointed.
He was about to walk away when Jamal said,
“You can walk with me though”
Hey, I said this story wasn’t perfect, not cute, I am a sucker for such adorable romantic moments, what can I say?
Ashish gladly accepted the offer and walked with Jamal. They went around the museum, section after section, while Jamal looked at the artefacts and exhibits and Ashish looked at Jamal’s face.
After a few minutes Jamal said,” You know I did ask you to stop staring at me.”
“I was just admiring your hair.”
Jamal snickered and replied,”For 10 minutes?”
“Well they do look soft as hell.”
Jamal laughed again, Ashish smiled too.
They didn’t talk a lot of sense after this, all I can say is that they sat in the bus together and cracked a few not so good jokes, but they made each other laugh every time.
As they went out of the bus and were left to go to their homes.
Jamal asked,”Monday after school, want to get some ice cream?”
“Yeah, sure”
“Nice”
To most of us, we have realized by now, Jamal asked Ashish out on a date, but I think we also know by now our boy here is kind of bad at these things and I like funny endearing moments.
Ashish asked ”Do you like girls?”
“Yes”, Jamal replied.
“Oh!”, Ashish exclaimed in a confused tone
“Doesn’t mean I don’t like guys too.”
Ashish and Jamal both smiled as they went off to their homes, excited for their date.
While Ashish walked to his house, he had a new skip in his walk. Sometimes because he was happy and others because this was India and there was cow dung everywhere on the roads and sidewalks.
He reached home early greeted by his parents as they laid out the table for dinner. Ashish first threw his backpack on the floor in the living room, but then went and kept it in his room, because his mom loves impersonating a banshee whenever he does something she doesn’t approve of.
But that day no impersonation of any monster could have wiped off that smile from his face.
“Why are you smiling?” Mrs. Sharma asked.
“Just the museum was nice and I am in a good mood.” He lied, hesitating, committing yet another damning sin. He lied not because his parents didn’t like him dating guys, they knew Ashish was gay. He lied because they didn’t like him dating anyone. That’s Indian parents for you, you’d think being gay would make them abandon you, ummmm, I mean leave you alone.
“You hate museums.” said Mr.Sharma
“No I don’t!”, Ashish laughed trying to cover up his lie. Failing, miserably.
Mr and Mrs Sharma knew that the museum wasn’t as nice as Ashish was pretending it was, but they let him be for now and ate their food.
As Ashish was laying in his bed that night, he thought of Jamal. Fully clothed; don’t worry.
Although the thoughts were all about kissing.
After Ashish’s weird fully clothed sexual dream ended, he finally thought about the date. What was he going to do? Do people judge others based on what ice cream they buy?
Should he buy mint chocolate chip or strawberry cheesecake, what should he wear? Should he wear his black Vans or his white Vans!!??
He turned and buried his head in the pillow, trying to replace his thoughts with concern for he was aroused by all this anxiety about his date. Did he have a problem? Yes.
Ashish drifted off into dreamland and woke up the next morning.
I am not going to describe his Sunday, because it was just him getting nervous and aroused.
It was a very disturbing, horny and endless cycle.
Should I meet a therapist?
All we need to know is that by Monday morning he hadn’t resolved his problem at all and ended up wearing his white vans, only he had to change them because his school had a uniform and had to wear the stupid all black sports shoes.
Ashish reached his classroom, to meet his best friend, Tanya who had saved a seat for him.
A little about Tanya before we go any further. Remember the popular girl in every american high school movie ever, she has all the style of one, but is actually nice to talk to, so you want to hate her but can’t because she just offered the cookies her mom made even though she doesn’t know who you are. In other words, Tanya is the love child of Monica and Rachel.
“How was the field trip?’, Tanya asked
“Far better than I had expected.”
“Why did you go there again?”
“Jamal”
“Oh yeah! I still can’t go for him can I?”
“Nope.”
“Why dude? I am telling you he isn’t gay.”
“I know he isn’t. He’s bi”
“How do you know that?”
“We have a date today.”
“What?”
Ashish gave her a giant smirk and left Tanya with thousands of questions as the teacher entered the class.
Ashish’s day consisted of education and educating Tanya more about what had happened. Tanya couldn’t believe that Ashish had found a date even after being so awkward. She also couldn’t believe that Ashish had found a date before her heterosexual self in a school where he wasn’t even out yet.
Tanya had lost her faith in god.
She was now an atheist.
Ashish and Tanya walked out of school after the bell or the last period rang.Normally he would walk Tanya to her bus and then walk home himself. Today he didn’t. Instead he waited for Jamal in front of the school, hyperventilating and unable to feel his legs, so pretty normal I guess.
After 5 minutes Jamal finally came out of school, looking dashing as always, being one of the few people who are able to look good in a school uniform.
‘He looks like a god’ thought Ashish, only to realise how weird it is to want to hook up with a god.
Now Ashish was hyperventilating, numb in his legs and uncomfortable in the crotch. Still a normal day for him considering he was on his first date ever.
‘Hi’, Jamal said in a normal manner
‘Hello’ Ashish responded to a greek god
‘Ice cream? ‘Jamal asked
‘Yes’, he replied in awe of Jamal’s unexisting divinity
‘Baskin-Robbins?’ Jamal asked again
‘Yes’, Ashish replied, close to now enlightenment by attraction.
Ashish and Jamal start walking, towards the ice cream shop.
Both awkward, both trying to not to say something stupid.
Ashish never did good in awkward scenarios, so he broke the ice.
‘How was school?’
‘It was fine.’
‘Doesn’t sound like it was fine by your tone’
‘A teacher was being a little shitty’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I might have given him a few very good answers to his not so creative statements about me.’
Ashish chuckled loudly
‘What are you laughing at?’
‘I am sorry, I shouldn’t’
‘No, it’s okay I said that to make you laugh, so I guess mission accomplished’
Ashish blushed.
Duh.
I have to say, Jamal’s got game, I would love to hangout with him. Sad he only exists in my head.
‘What about you?’ Jamal asked
‘What about me?’
‘How was your day.’
‘Oh! Fine, I guess, nothing interesting’
‘You know, you can at least pretend to be interesting or that interesting things happen to you.’
Regular people would think Jamal is being rude, but Ashish here saw it as funny and witty, which is how it was intended.
Jamal also noticed that Ashish wasn’t offended by this and felt nice. So many times he had been just trying to make people laugh and they took it the wrong way. At times it was easier being rude than funny, but guess he doesn’t have to do that now.
They both walked in silence after that, but it wasn’t awkward anymore.
At last they reached the shop and ordered their ice creams. Jamal got vanilla and Ashish got strawberry. Jamal didn’t judge him.
I hate strawberry flavored ice cream so I did.
Comments
Post a Comment