If that day you walked down Wilson Street, you’d have seen an 18-year-old girl with earphones whistling and skipping down a puddle riddled road. The whistling was out of nervousness and the skipping partially because she didn’t want her new shoes to get wet and partly because she just couldn’t help but bounce a little bit to the great beats of Lady Gaga. I have never listened to any of Lady Gaga’s music, but I’ll take this girl’s skip as a compliment for it.
This girl was named Fox. Why? Not every question needs to be
answered idiot reader. I am assuming Wolf was taken. Anyway, Fox held a paper,
on it was a list of pros and cons. You see, Fox was trying to decide what
college to go to. She had narrowed it down to 3 from a list of 81 with a strict
criterion of prestige, graduate employability rankings and how funny the name
sounded. She couldn’t choose between the 3. Her parents were of no help as they
couldn’t choose either. Hoping these genes making them undecisive don’t go too
far up the family tree, she was making her way to the butcher shop 683.3 metres
from her house which her grandfather owned. He was very good at making
decisions, he knew exactly when to end all his 8 marriages and put down all 18
of his dogs.
She finally made it to ‘Lovely Butchery’. The shop was
classier than what you’d think. The meat either neatly hanging from the roof in
beautiful bundles or neatly arranged behind glass. Her grandfather sat in the
solitary seat in the shop, which you’d think would be for customers but anyone
who knew grandpa, knew it was only and ONLY his. No other butts allowed.
“Hey Foxie!’
“Hey Grandpa.”
After not sparing you the boring greetings, I’ll spare you
the boring conversation, basically Fox explained her problem and why she was so
perplexed between these 3 institutions. Grandpa was an intelligent man…. his
intelligence didn’t always come off properly. His methods were…unconventional?
He once saved a man from choking by fishing the food out of his throat with his
bare hands. He had very little but dextrous and strong hands.
Following in his own footsteps he started to recite a story,
knowing there was no end to it, Fox took a seat as well and started munching on
the carrots she had brought from home having anticipated a situation like this.
Grandpa starts, “Well in the 1970’s I used to work in
theatre, I found my passion for butchery much later. I was 17 and a buddy of
mine had dreamt of being an actor.”
Fox interrupts, “Did he ever become an actor?”
Grandpa,” No, he got crushed by a truck on his way to an
audition at the age of 64.”
Fox was very mildly shocked, grandpa continued, “It was
terrible….. Anyway, the first time I was in a theatre, I hated it. The actors
had no idea what they were doing, the sets were horrendous, and everything
smelled of piss.”
“The next day, my now dead friend took me to another play,
promising me it would be better than the last one. I was gullible, so I went.
The play was a one woman play, I was also rather sexist, so I had negative
expectations.”
Fox was glad to hear her grandpa recognized his flaws.
Granddaddy continued, “The play started, and the actress
came on stage. She was wearing a burlap sack as a dress and her face was
covered with her hair. I was already preparing myself to start booing.”
Fox, “How horrible was she?”
Grandpapa, “Not at all, she acted for 12 minutes with her
hair still covering her face, but the way she spoke was so captivating I
couldn’t take my eyes off that burlap mess. As the 13th minute
started her face was finally revealed and I couldn’t believe it….it was my
chemistry teacher. My rude chemistry teacher who absolutely tortured me.’
Fox, “Really?”
“No Fox, I’m lying.”, Grandpa retorted sarcastically.
He continued to speak, “I was ready to boo as soon as I
realised it was her. But then for a second I doubted myself, was this her
indeed? Everything matched, the face, the hair, the legs, everything! As if on
cue, she turned to the audience and that’s when I saw it.”
Fox now very interested, “What?”
Grandpa edging closer to her eyes, “It was her eyes. They
weren’t the same eyes.”
Fox, “Had she replaced her eyes?”
Grandpa, “That was my 1st question too but that
seemed stupid. I realised she was so immersed in her character; she had become
that person. The soul behind her eyes had changed.”
Fox, “WOW!”
Grandfather, “I had never seen something so amazing ever. I never
wanted to leave the theatre but unfortunately, I had to. I was nervous to
return and didn’t go to a theatre again for a month, but then when I saw
another play with the same magic, I knew I wanted to forever be a part of this
world. I started out as a helper, I would get them food and coffee, run among
rooms with messages, costumes and makeup. After all of it, every time except a
few, I would see them create magic on stage. It was pure bliss. I tried
everything eventually, acting, directing, set decorating. None of it was for
me, so I stayed content with helping to organize the plays, I didn’t even know
when, but I had become a producer.”
Fox, “I didn’t know you had had another profession. Is this
why you invest so much in the community theatre group?”
Grandpa, “Ah yes, that is the reason, also because I almost
burned down their building first.”
Fox, “With the cigarette and the leaky LPG can, yeah, I know
that. What happened next?”
Grandpa, “Well after 10 years in the business, I had made
very good money, one day my chemistry teacher, having left her job came to me.
She had written a play. I read it and it was marvellous. She was just a good of
a writer as she was an actor.”
Fox, “Good for her.”
Granddad, “So. We took all our money and put it in the play,
it was going to be grand.”
Fox, “All your money? Is this where it all went to- “
Granddad, “Shit!...There was some faulty wiring in the
theatre we were working in. One day I showed up to work and all my money was
ashes, everything I had built had been cremated for me.”
Fox, “I’m sorry grandpa.”
Grandpa smiled and continued, “I was out of money, my
teacher got picked up for a movie, but I had nothing left, I was considered a
jinx suddenly. I couldn’t get any work.”
He was a little teary eyed. Though a story must be finished.
Grandpa took a breath, composed himself and kept going, “That
friend of mine who wanted to be an actor, he had an uncle who had a butcher
shop.”
Fox, “Surprising introduction to your new profession.”
Grandpa,” Surprising indeed. He took me there to help me get
some temporary work. I was very reluctant, just like when I first saw theatre.
His uncle was talking to me. Unfortunately for me he did it while holding down
a chicken.”
Fox, “Yikes!”
Grandpa, “I had no other options, so I accepted the job. He
decided to give me a tutorial right then and there. He held the chicken while
he asked me to chop its head off. Two things he told me, ‘Do NOT hit my hand
and do NOT make eye contact with the animal.” I followed only one of these 2
rules. I lost a man his fingers.”
Fox, “WHAT THE HELL!?”
Grandpa, “Kidding! I made eye contact. The chicken’s eyes
were so full of soul. I had to do it though, so I did. I emptied the eyes off
soul, every drop.”
Fox, “That sounds horr- “
Grandpa, “It was gorgeous.”
Fox, “Excuse me?”
Grandpa, “I had seen eyes replace souls, but I had never seen
them void of it. Being a butcher was the only way I could see this, something I
couldn’t even see on stage where anything could happen, depending on the budget
of course. So here I am 50 years later.”
Fox, “How does that absolutely horrifying thing you just
revealed about yourself help me regarding my problem?”
Grandpa, “It is not horrifying, it’s just concerning. Don’t
worry I have a therapist.”
Fox (sarcastically), “If you say so.”
Grandpa, “I realised I wanted something, not someplace. The
place didn’t really matter.”
Fox with this heart-warming at first and nightmare inducing
story later with its profound concluding statement left, wondering whether she
should be worried about her grandfather being a psychopath and how she will
never be in a room with her grandfather while he is holding a knife. She
wondered about this as once again with his unconventional methods he had solved
her problems and caused many more. She had made her choice. The criterion had
been rendered useless.
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